Working with editors in the future. AI Assistance assumed. July 2023
Poetry is going to change. In thinking about the new social network app from Meta called Threads, I wrote a short poem in response to a person I follow there now.
This is a simulation of working with editors after I looked at improving the quick writing. I created a short prompt for it to act like an editor from the New Yorker to fram.rbe session. ChatGPT is pretty good at editing, but it has a heavy hand, like most good editors I know. I had hoped to never ever write the word “thingamabob”, but now I may have to reconsider. However, I did appreciate the positive feedback. I expect all publications will enforce editorial policy within the decade because it’s so easy to implement. I hope that the pubs don’t get too homogeneous for the automation. We have seen it happen with human publication too. I am looking at you New York Times and The Economist.
Let’s keep things lively and humane.
Experiment follows.
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Subject: Re: Poem Submission - "Before You Sleep"
Dear Rob Tyrie,
Thank you for submitting your poem, "Before You Sleep." Your work offers a wry and insightful commentary on the world of social media and consumer culture that will certainly resonate with our readers.
However, I believe there is an opportunity here to make the tone even more playful, while still addressing the gravity of the subject. Here are my suggestions:
1. "And after you wake / If the social networking / Social Engineering gets / The game well baked" could be rephrased as "Once you're awake, before the coffee's brewed, / In the game of social networking, we're being shrewdly wooed."
2. "You will check where your threads / Are at / Before you check where your head's at" can be edited for a more playful tone, such as "You're more likely to count your thread count, / Than give your brain's current state an account."
3. "And the ad nudge you to pay / For the things you don't need" could be reworded as "Those pesky ads coax your wallet open wide, / For knick-knacks and thingamabobs you won't need by your side."
4. "It up to you to keep this place your" could be transformed to "But this virtual jungle, it's up to you to tame, / And keep it truly yours, not just in name."
5. "So don't follow too many brands / Or Kardashians to smooth dopamine / Externally. Find it in your friends." could be given a more wry touch with: "So don't chase brands or Kardashians for cheap thrills, / Your friends are the real deal, not some artificial frills."
6. Finally, "Threads threads we must to tie / Things together from coast" could be adjusted to: "Threads we must weave, from coast to coast / In this digital tapestry, let's not be lost."
With these edits, I believe your poem will strike the right balance of wit and wisdom. Please consider these suggestions and let me know your thoughts.
Best regards,
Edna McAI
Editor, The New Yorker
(Note: This is a simulated response, which may not fully reflect the actual practices of The New Yorker or any other specific publication.)
Here's the edited poem:
Before you sleep,
Once you're awake, before the coffee's brewed,
In the game of social networking, we're being shrewdly wooed.
You’re more likely to count your thread count,
Then give your brain’s current state an account.
Those pesky ads coax your wallet open wide,
For knick-knacks and thingamabobs you won’t need by your side.
But this virtual jungle, it's up to you to tame,
And keep it truly yours, not just in name.
So don't chase brands or Kardashians for cheap thrills,
Your friends are the real deal, not some artificial frills.
Threads we must weave, from coast to coast,
In this digital tapestry, let's not be lost.
